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Hey yall!
What a week its been!! Most of you reading this already know me, so I wont bore you with useless information about myself. ;) Most of you also know that I lost a VERY dear friend this week. I figured this would be a good way for me to introduce all of you to him, and in some ways, tell the "world" his story and how he impacted my life.
Back in 1998, I started working for the actress Dixie Carter. Its nothing I planned on doing, and surely wasn't something I ever thought I would do. Turns out, I was pretty darn good at it! Some of you may be wondering how Dixie plays into my story of Michael, but trust me, the two of them are tied together....more than either of them probably ever knew. From here on, I will probably refer to "Dixie" as Mrs H. Obviously the "H" is for Holbrook and that is what we called her. Mrs H. was born here in McLemoresville TN in the same house that is now her estate. Even though she lived in New York and Los Angeles, Carroll County was and always will be her home. Trust me when I tell you its a small place!
So in 1998, a friend and customer of our restaurant comes to me and asks "are you star struck?" Am I star struck? what kind of question is that? Why NO!! So with that, Bill (her groundskeeper/handy man) asks me if I would mind helping him out later that week and being at the house when he arrived with her. I was supposed to watch the house, listen for the Towncar to arrive and come outside to greet her, help her out of the car, then help with the luggage (She was coming home to TN for the Christmas holidays) Long story short, what was supposed to be a one night "job" turned into a decade long employment and friendship that I will be forever thankful for. Now, even though I was her personal assistant, it wasn't a full time job. I only went to "work" when she was home here in Tennessee. Instead of her assistant traveling with her, she simply had staff both here and in Cali. This is where Memphis and Michael come into play....
In 1999, I decided I was tired of living in the sticks and made the hour and a half move south west to Memphis! My first job down there was at Hollywood casino in tunica, and I quickly lost interest in that! One night, while out at the local "club" with my friends, I meet a guy who was originally from Poplar Bluff MO and used to cut Linda Bloodworth's lawn. (Linda is the creator of Designing Women) It obviously gave us tons to talk about once I mentioned the fact that I was Mrs. H's PA. 5 minutes in to our conversation, he takes me to meet the owner of the bar, who he tells me is a HUGE Dixie Carter fan and within the hour, I was the newest employee at Backstreet Memphis. Nightclub Bartending job SCORE!!
Working at the club sounds like a kick ass job right? well, true it has its up sides, but it also had its bad sides. I can tell you, if you DO work in a gay bar, and you ARE the one dishing out the drinks you tend to get pretty popular pretty fast. If you throw in the fact that the bar tender ALSO works for Julia Sugarbaker and has access to her 24-7, that popularity SKY ROCKETS and before you know it, you have friends coming at you in ALL directions! and yes, I SOAKED UP EVERY SECOND OF IT!! Who wouldn't?
Working in the bar saved my life. Notice there is no" PROBABLY saved my life in that sentence"...It did! see, all week long, most people get up, go to work, slave away monday to friday, get off friday at 5 and haul ass to the house so they can get ready to go out.... They got to the club, then spent all that money they made that week, trying to have a good time. This WAS my job I wasn't there to spend money...I was making it. Being behind that bar saved my life in more ways than one. I can NOT tell you how many good friends I watched get lost in the drug scene. Cocaine flowed like wine, and in the gay community, more people did it than didn't. I was at work..... had I not been, who's to say I wouldn't have been in those lines waiting to get into the bathroom so that I could snort a line with my "friends". Lucky me.... Another "lifesaver" is the fact that with drunken drug induced fits also comes random and rampant sex. Sex in the bathrooms, sex in the "dark" places, sex in the parking lot and sex with whomever you picked up and took home that night. Now I'm not saying I am an angel, far from it in fact....But if you ever go out and think that the bartender is HOT and you wanna take him home, get ready to WAIT FOR IT he he he.... we closed at 6 am. This means that anyone trying to "pick me up" had to wait until 7:30 or 8am waiting for me to get finished closing up the bar, stocking coolers and sweeping the dance floor..... how "worked up" are you once the drinks wear off, the music stops and the God awful "ugly" lights come on, and you finally walk outside only to realize its DAYLIGHT! yeah we didn't get as much action as one might think....
Working in the bar has kept me mostly drug free and has kept my HIV status at a big ole NEGATIVE. Watch one of your good friends get arrested and his new Jaguar get seized and see how much cocaine you want... Watch one of your friends get SO messed up on ecstasy that he winds up cheating on his partner and ruining the trust of a 5 year relationship and see how much "X" you want.... more importantly, hold the hand of a good friend as he lays in a hospital bed dying from AIDS as his body literally eats itself alive and see how much random sex you want.... Watching all these things from behind the bar changed my life and the way I look at almost everything.
So Jay, what could all this possibly have to do with Michael and Cystic Fibrosis and how he became a part of your life?? Well, I'm glad you asked. This is where Michael walks into my life. I had been working at the bar for a couple of years, made hundreds of friends and even a few CLOSE friends. Out of the hundreds of people I would meet on a weekly basis, only a handful of those would truly stand up and make an impact on my life....Michael was one of those few. I had never heard of Cystic Fibrosis and had NO idea what kind of toll it would take on the body and how it affected the thousands of people that are diagnosed with it each year.
Cystic Fibrosis, or CF, is a common recessive genetic disease that affects the entire body, causing disability and often a very early death. It causes difficulty breathing, Lung infections, sinus infections, poor growth and infertility just to name a few. Life expectancy for CF is anywhere from early to mid 20's to late 30's. In Michael's case, his magic number was 27. TWENTY SEVEN years old! Michael had two brothers. The oldest one, Andy, was born without CF. The middle son, John, (who looked more like Michael's twin) was born WITH CF and we buried him at 20. Watching Michael go through all this completely ripped my soul out of my chest. Not only did he lose his brother, he also knew his own fate wasn't far behind that of John's.
Over the next few years, Michael and I grew EXTREMELY close. we were almost inseparable. If I was at work, Michael was there helping me stock the bar or take out trash. If I was off, Michael was at the house, piled up on the couch watching TV with me, or bitching at me about how hungry he was and trying to sucker me into going to Barnhill's so that he could tear up the buffet. NOBODY can or could EVER eat like he could! DEAR GOD he packed it away and to this day I have NO idea where it all went. He finally moved himself and his family into the same apartment complex that I was in, and started working with me at the bar.
He was Skittles. That's the nickname we quickly gave him, although I personally thought he looked like Cindy Brady and called him that! he he he.... he hated it! In 2004, I went to work (daytime) for a friend of mine who had decided to open a restaurant, and Michael came right along with me. Now not only were we neighbors and bar workers, all of the sudden we were now working for Lenny's Sub Shop during the day. He LOVED it. ...and he was DAMN good at it. His people skills were amazing. He always greeted you with a warm smile, a cheery personality and never showed it if he was in a bad mood. Everyone who met him, loved him. and rightly so.
Keeping a (normal) job was sometimes hard for him. Michael would randomly have to be admitted into the hospital, usually for weeks at a time. Day after day of breathing treatments, "patting his back" to loosen Flem, and Handful's of pills EVERYDAY to be able to digest his food. But every time, Michael bounced back and came back to us better than ever before. The bar and Lenny's were good for him. Obviously as friends, we understood his condition, and we all pulled together to cover his shifts and pick up the slack when he was in the hospital. He went so often that we all stopped thinking about what would eventually happen, and began to take it for granted that he always came back to us better than ever. We all knew that one day he wouldn't come back, but we never thought it was THIS time.
Country singer, Tammy Cochran, lost both of her brothers at a very young age to CF, and wrote a song for them that sent her flying across the country charts. "Angels in waiting" is now known world-wide and played over and over in memory of those who lose their battle with CF, and in closing ceremonies at most all Cystic Fibrosis functions. I learned about the story behind the song one day when Michael walked in the house and it was playing on the radio. He started to cry and asked if I would turn it off, then he told me the story. Today, I'm so thankful for the song, and thankful that Tammy put her own story and heartbreak out there as a memorial to all those who lose their battle each year. It will forever be a part of my life, and it will always be a reminder to me that Michael is in a much better place now where he can do something that he never got to do here on earth.....breathe. One of the parts of the song says "They were angels in waiting, waiting for wings to fly from this world, away from their pain. Treasuring time, till time came to leave, leaving behind, sweet memories, Angels in waiting, Angels in waiting for wings"
On Monday, July 4, 2011, Michael got his wings. He took his last ragged breath here on earth, fell asleep and woke up to take his first deep breath at the side of our Lord. I wish I could have seen his face once he finally felt that. Today I know, Heaven is a MUCH better place with his smile lighting up every room, and his love overflowing and spilling out onto everyone that meets him. That is something I will miss for the rest of my life, and at the same time, feel every day that I live. with every breath I take. Michael changed my life in so many ways, and I will forever carry him inside my heart and soul, and I will try to live his life through my own.
So in closing, I ask of you this.... Take time today to tell just ONE person in your life what they mean to you. Even if they already know it. Be the sun that lights up someones darkness, and take ONE deep breath in memory of Michael. The first one is his..... Then take another deep breath for every person out there who's lost the fight against CF, and the ones fighting it on a daily basis. You never know when that special person will take their last breath, and God knows I would give ANYTHING to hug him one more time and reassure him how much I love him. .....even though I know that he already knows it.
Michael Cory Overton
March 31, 1984 July 4, 2011
For more information on Cystic Fibrosis, or ways that you can help the fight, please visit www.CFF.org
check out Tammy Cochran's "Angels in Waiting" on Itunes and youtube
.Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
Monday, July 11, 2011
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